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Funny Quotes about Life

We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately. Benjamin Franklin
Teamwork
There is no experience better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. John Andrew Holmer
Experience
If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you haven’t laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something fun. Marlo Morgan
Joy
Remember the old adage; you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead. Stan Laurel
Achievement
Laughter has no foreign accent. Paul Lowney
Communication
Life is an onion which one peels crying. French Proverb
Life
May your life be like toilet paper. Long and useful. Old Saying
Health
A happy family is but an earlier heaven. John Bowring
Family
I don’t have a lifestyle. I have a life. Jane Fonda
Life Choices
Misfortune does not come with a bell on its neck. Estonian Saying
Difficulty
Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. William Feather
Perseverance

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Greatness
The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth. George Jean Nathan
Passion
We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken? Rutherford Platt
Miracles
It’s a funny old life . . . man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive. W. C. Fields
Death
You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes. Winnie the Pooh
Human Relations | Tolerance
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. Herbert Prochnow
Friendship
It’s not the men in my life that counts – it’s the life in my men. Mae West
Character
The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. Jules Renard
Excuses
We didn’t lose the game, we just ran out of time. Vince Lombardi
Time
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off. Andy Rooney
Dream
The longer they wait, the better they like it. Marlene Dietrich
Patience
The difficult thing about children is that they come with no instructions. You pretty well have to assemble them on your own. James Dobson

Working Hard Sayings and Quotes

I’ve got a theory that if you give 100 percent all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end.
Success is not a destination, but the road that you’re on. Being successful means that you’re working hard and walking your walk every day. You can only live your dream by working hard towards it. That’s living your dream.
Working hard is very important. You’re not going to get anywhere without working extremely hard.
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.
It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.

To be successful quotes

To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart. ~Thomas Watson, Sr.

I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that, for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well. ~Alan Greenspan

Men err when they think they can be inhuman exploiters in their business life, and loving husbands and fathers at home. ~Smiley Blanton

The trouble with a lot of merchants lies in their wild yearning to steal somebody’s copyright. ~Edward Mott Woolley, “Adventures in Business: The Merchant Who Needed a Press Agent,” in The Saturday Evening Post, 1912 September 21st

Let’s be honest. There’s not a business anywhere that is without problems. Business is complicated and imperfect. Every business everywhere is staffed with imperfect human beings and exists by providing a product or service to other imperfect human beings. ~Bob Parsons

Successful enterprises are usually led by a proven chief executive who is a competent benevolent dictator. ~Richard Pratt

The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination to see how much he can give for a dollar, instead of how little he can give for a dollar, is bound to succeed. ~Henry Ford

The NBA is never just a business. It’s always business. It’s always personal. All good businesses are personal. The best businesses are very personal. ~Mark Cuban

It is an immutable law in business that words are words, explanations are explanations, promises are promises but only performance is reality. ~Harold Geneen

When persons, having business with you, offer to feast you, beware of them. ~James Lendall Basford (1845–1915), Sparks from the Philosopher’s Stone, 1882 [Vendor lunches‽ —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

Your Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting. ~Scott Adams

[A]nd now I saw, though too late, the folly of beginning a work before we count the cost, and before we judge rightly of our own strength to go through with it. ~Daniel Defoe, The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner, 1719

Don’t say it, write it. You can’t file a conversation. ~Business saying, quoted inIndustrial Productivity, Industrial Relations Research Association, 1951

Customers overwhelmingly show appreciation for great service with their wallets. ~Help Scout (www.helpscout.net), “75 Customer Service Facts, Quotes & Statistics: How Your Business Can Deliver With the Best of the Best”

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. ~Jay Leno

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell. ~Confucius

It is unfortunate we can’t buy many business executives for what they are worth and sell them for what they think they are worth. ~Malcolm Forbes

Too many people think only of their own profit. But business opportunity seldom knocks on the door of self-centered people. No customer ever goes to a store merely to please the storekeeper. ~Kazuo Inamori

A man of business may talk of philosophy; a man who has none may practise it. ~Alexander Pope, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1727

If you are not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you’ve launched too late. ~Reid Hoffman

Every corporation has a complaint process that begins with someone telling you that you are the first person to ever complain about this. ~Robert Brault,rbrault.blogspot.com

Government in the U.S. today is a senior partner in every business in the country. ~Norman Cousins

Work as if you own the company and soon you just might. ~Mike Dolan,@HawaiianLife

To take something from a person and keep it for oneself: that is robbery. To take something from one person and then turn it over to another in exchange for as much money as you can get: that is business. Robbery is so much more stupid, since it is satisfied with a single, frequently dangerous profit; whereas in business it can be doubled without danger. ~Octave Mirbeau, Torture Garden

Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer. ~Dale Carnegie

Inspirational Job Quotes – Applying a job

Let’s read the inspirational quotes below to courage you applying a job:

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. —Confucius

It’s time to start living the life we’ve imagined. —Henry James

The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. —Oliver Wendell Holmes

The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do. —Thomas Jefferson

If a man is called to be a streetsweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well. —Martin Luther King

Far and away the best prize that life offers
is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. —Theodore Roosevelt

There are so many things you can learn about.
But you’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut. —Dr. Seuss

Do something for somebody every day for which you do not get paid. —Albert Schweitzer

Before you build a better mousetrap, it helps to know if there are any mice out there. —Yogi Berra

The voyage of discovery is not in looking for new landscapes, but in looking with new eyes. —Anonymous

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. —Albert Einstein

Experience is not what happens to a man.
It is what a man does with what happens to him. —Aldous Huxley

One person with courage makes a majority. —Andrew Jackson

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. —Robert F. Kennedy

No one ever gets very far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day. —Elbert Hubbard

Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it,
for that determines our success or failure. —Norman Vincent Peale

To be a great champion, you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are. —Muhammad Ali

The average person puts only 25% of his energy into his work.
The world takes off its hat to those who put in more than 50% of their capacity,
and stands on its head for those few and far between souls who devote 100%. —Andrew Carnegie

All of the darkness of the world cannot put out the light of one small candle. —Anonymous

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. —Henry David Thoreau

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. —Calvin Coolidge

Who is wise? He that learns from everyone.
Who is powerful? He that governs his passions.
Who is rich? He that is content.
Who is that? Nobody. —Benjamin Franklin

It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get back up. —Vince Lombardi

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. —Milton Berle

It is never too late to be what you might have been. —George Eliot

Personally, I’m always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught. —Winston Churchill

Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way. —Booker T. Washington

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.
The sure-thing boat never gets far from the shore. —Dale Carnegie

In any moment of decision,
the best thing you can do is the right thing,
the next best thing is the wrong thing,
and the worst thing you can do is nothing. —Theodore Roosevelt

The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand,
as in what direction we are moving. —Oliver Wendall Holmes

Trust people and they will be true to you;
Treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is a way to do it better…find it —Thomas Edison

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. —T.S. Eliot

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows. —Helen Keller

Funny Work Quotes

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it’s already 6:45. When you’re at work and it’s 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it’s 2:31.

t-when-my-boss-told-me

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.

Got to work this morning and my boss told me ‘have a good day’, so I went home and had a great day!

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

t-hes-so-lazy

As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.

I don’t work on weekends, or any other day that ends with “Y”.

Quotes About Work – P2

“The human race is a monotonous affair. Most people spend the greatest part of their time working in order to live, and what little freedom remains so fills them with fear that they seek out any and every means to be rid of it.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther

“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.”
― J.M. Barrie

“There is no time for cut-and-dried monotony. There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time.”
― Coco Chanel

“Witches are naturally nosy,” said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet again. I will give you some free advice, though.”
“Will it cost me anything?”
“What? I just said it was free!” said Miss Tick.
“Yes, but my father said that free advice often turns out to be expensive,” said Tiffany.
Miss Tick sniffed. “You could say this advice is priceless,” she said, “Are you listening?”
“Yes,” said Tiffany.
“Good. Now…if you trust in yourself…”
“Yes?”
“…and believe in your dreams…”
“Yes?”
“…and follow your star…” Miss Tick went on.
“Yes?”
“…you’ll still be beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy. Goodbye.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”
― Aristotle

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.”
― Dave Barry

Quotes About Work – P1

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can’t Read, Write or Add

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
― Anonymous

“The Seven Social Sins are:

Wealth without work.
Pleasure without conscience.
Knowledge without character.
Commerce without morality.
Science without humanity.
Worship without sacrifice.
Politics without principle.
From a sermon given by Frederick Lewis Donaldson in Westminster Abbey, London, on March 20, 1925.”
― Frederick Lewis Donaldson

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
― Lady Gaga

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

“All happiness depends on courage and work.”
― Honoré de Balzac

“Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work.”
― Gustave Flaubert

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”
― Barack Obama

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided – Work quotes

1. Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. Mark Twain

2. When you form a team, why do you try to form a team? Because teamwork builds trust and trust builds speed. Russel Honore

3. To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness. John Dewey

4. Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. Peter Drucker

5. If Botticelli were alive today he’d be working for Vogue. Peter Ustinov

6. Nothing is work unless you’d rather be doing something else. George Halas

7. When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results. Calvin Coolidge

8. The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. Richard Bach

9. Ya gots to work with what you gots to work with. Stevie Wonder

10. No one can arrive from being talented alone, work transforms talent into genius. Anna Pavlova

11. To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy. Bette Davis

12. Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. Ray Kroc

13. Inspiration comes of working every day. Charles Baudelaire
Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work. Al Capp

14. I think about my work every minute of the day. Jeff Koons
Work is much more fun than fun. Noel Coward

15. Work, apart from devotion or love of God, is helpless and cannot stand alone. Ramakrishna

16. If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work. Ogden Nash

17. It can be liberating to get fired because you realize the world doesn’t end. There’s other ways to make money, better jobs. Ron Livingston

Funny Inspirational Work Quotes With Pictures

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to the office 🙂 Let’s read very funny inspirationalwork quotes with pictures. Hope you have a fun time with your work.

funny work quotes